Supercommunicators How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection
A book about the traits of good communicators. It uses stories of people overcoming difficult situations with the use of great communication skills.
Summary¶
3 key insights from the book
- The goal of a meaningful conversation is connection
- Most of our conversations fall into 3 conversation categories
- Being a supercommunicator means asking more questions
ask questions¶
- Good communicators can steer conversations (and allegedly create neural entrainment)
- they’re not the loudest, but enable others to speak and feel heard. They’re facilitators. Having them in groups makes the group much more effective.
- Before speaking, they ask “why am i speaking?”, they speak with purpose
- ask 10-20 times more questions
build connections¶
good communicators build trust in a conversation with
- Ask deep and open-ended questions
- turn shallow questions into deep questions
- active listening: use backchanneling to show you’re listening
- mirroring
- match energy in a conversation (mood & tone)
- match emotions: reciprocate when someone shares feelings
- use body language and tone of voice (energy?)
- Always try to reciprocate when someone shares personal details and ask follow-up questions.
- ask others about needs and feelings, and explore identities related to the conversation.
- be easy to read
- Share your goals
- use expressive body language
- Avoid sarcasm and direct criticism, especially online
Strong connections have a positive impact on our lives:
- health: strong relationships improve longevity
- happiness: frequent conversations lead to happier relationships
- connect with people: asking deep questions improves dating success
other¶
Someone recommended the book discussion in this (free) Rich Roll Podcast over the (paid) book, because it contains more practical tips.
Supercommunicators - Guidelines for Hard Conversations
Supercommunicators - ThinkFastTalkSmart podcast
discussed in the Ten Percent Happier podcast, The Science of Effective Communication.
Backlinks¶
- 3 conversation categories
- Supercommunicators - Guidelines for Hard Conversations
- This review of Supercommunicators - How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection seems to handle very different topics than what i remember from the book. Perhaps it’s hallucinated AI slop?
- asking deep questions improves dating success
- asking more questions leads to more social connections
- frequent conversations lead to happier relationships
- neural entrainment
- I’m unsure about the Neural entrainment claim from the book Supercommunicators - How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection, I’ve not yet seen research that backs up this claim.
- strong relationships improve longevity
- turn shallow questions into deep questions
- supercommunicator
- A supercommunicator is someone who is a great communicator, defined in the book Supercommunicators - How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection.